Car Radio
by DragonBlood-Katana
Summary: Tsukki spends three months alternating between flipping his shit and trying not to cry.


Yamaguchi was smiling the day he left to study abroad in America. Tsukishima didn't like it, but his freckled boyfriend was just too excited to voice anything about the sick feeling coiling in the pit of his stomach. Instead, he waved him off with a hug, a kiss, and a smile

 _"I'll visit in a month or two. Wait for me, Tsukki!"_

That was the last thing Tsukki heard from his boyfriend, four months previously. For the first few weeks, Yamaguchi had constantly sent him pictures and texts, called him between classes, even sent a box of American chocolates, though. But about a week into the second month, everything stopped. No phone calls, no texts, no sign to indicate that the freckled boy was even alive. Needless to say, Tsukki was going a little insane. He worried that Yamaguchi had gotten in an accident, or lost his phone, or found someone better.

It was that last thought that scared Tsukishima the most. The idea that Yamaguchi could move on after everything they'd been through together was absolutely terrifying. He didn't know if he'd be able to handle that.

Of course, everyone noticed that something was wrong with Tsukki. Whenever the old team would meet up, he would be distant – well, more so than usual – and barely responded to anything, even Hinata and Kageyama's taunts. Suga was starting to get concerned, Asahi's reassurances doing next to nothing. The entire team was being affected, but Tsukki could only worry about his freckled boyfriend hundreds of miles away.

It was four and a half months before Tsukki finally got a call. It wasn't the one he was hoping for, though.

 _"Hello, is this Tsukishima Kei?"_ He didn't recognize the number or the man's voice, but the accent was definitively American.

"Yes, that would be me. How may I help you?"

 _"We're calling about your friend, Yamaguchi Tadashi."_

Tsukki hopped on the first flight to America he could get. He kept his poker face firmly on his face, careful not to show too much emotion to outsiders, but inside, he was falling apart. Is world had crashed down around his ears with a mere few words from the man on the phone. _Hurricane. Yamaguchi. Trapped. Coma._ Of course, with Yamaguchi's parents dead, they hadn't bothered to let anyone know that Yamaguchi had been in a _coma_ for _three months_. The only reason they had called Tsukki was because they needed someone else's input, someone who was close to the freckled ray of sunshine.

As Tsukki tried not to throttle the person sitting in front of him on the plane, who had decided to lean his chair back and practically lay on the blonde's lap to sleep, he tried to distract himself by going over what he had been told again. A hurricane had hit the town that Yamaguchi was staying in, practically levelling it. Yamaguchi had been in his bedroom on the second floor of the building when it had been destroyed, which was both a blessing and a curse. Since he was higher up than the family he had been staying with, he hadn't been killed by the weight of two floors of house collapsing on top of him. On the other hand, he had fallen onto a pipe, cracking several of his ribs. His legs had been trapped under part of the roof, which broke both of them in several places, and he had stayed like that for almost a week before the rescue teams had finally found him. He had been barely alive, and hadn't woken up since.

The hospital had to go through Yamaguchi's phone records to find Tsukki's number; his cellphone had been destroyed when the house collapsed, so they didn't have access to his contacts. The only reason they bothered at all was because they needed someone to decide whether or not to keep Yamaguchi on life support. Tsukki already knew his answer, of course—he couldn't just give up on Yamaguchi and pull the plug—but he had insisted almost violently that he saw his boyfriend before "deciding." He refused to not be there for Yamaguchi, even if the freckled boy was fast asleep and showed no signs of waking up anytime soon—or at all—without some sort of miracle.

Tsukishima didn't even bother going to a hotel when he landed he grabbed his suitcase and took a cab straight to the hospital. He brushed aside nurses and doctors that tried to stop him from going into Yamaguchi's hospital room and marched straight in, regretting it almost immediately. Nothing could ever prepared him for what he saw.

He had never thought he'd see Yamaguchi so _lifeless._ He was so pale that he almost seemed like he was trying to become part of the too-white sheets beneath him. Even his freckles seemed to be bleached out. There were IVs in both his arms, a respirator attached to his face, and casts on both his legs. He was so still that, if not for the little puffs of his breath misting against the plastic of the respirator, Tsukki might've thought Yamaguchi was dead. He could practically feel his heart shattering painfully as he sat in the uncomfortable plastic hospital chair and twined his fingers with Yamaguchi's. The freckled hand was too limp, but thankfully it wasn't cold. It was just as warm as ever, which Tsukki was infinitely glad for. He could barely handle the situation knowing that Yamaguchi was still alive; he didn't think he'd be able to do so otherwise.

Tsukishima refused to think about the possibility that Yamaguchi would never wake up. If he didn't believe in his boyfriend after all the times that Yamaguchi had cheered him on and kept him from giving up on himself, Tsukki would never forgive himself. Yamaguchi had always been there for him, and it was time for Tsukki to return the favor.

For a week, Tsukki alternated between staring at the monotone heart monitor and counting the freckles on Yamaguchi's cheeks. The slow, constant beeping of the multitude of medical instruments was the only thing that broke the silence; Tsukishima's only company was the nurses that came in to give him food and check up on Yamaguchi. He heard the same words over and over again, each repetition making the phrases more and more worthless. _No change. Good luck._ Their words were meaningless to Tsukki; attempts at kindness and useless reassurances wouldn't make Yamaguchi wake up. Words wouldn't bring back the stars to Tsukki's moon.

What came as a surprise—and helped a little, though Tsukishima would be the last to admit it—was when Asahi, Suga, and Noya came in and pulled him out of the hospital room. Asahi and Noya kept watch over Yamaguchi, promising to call if anything changed, while Suga coaxed Tsukki to a hotel for a shower, a warm meal, and a change of clothes.

Tsukishima glanced in front of the bathroom mirror as he passed and froze. He looked like shit, to be completely honest. Stress and lack of halfway decent food had made him gaunt, his eyes seemingly sunk into his head and offset by dark, bruised circles beneath them due to sleepless nights. He was pale and looked almost like a wild animal. No wonder Suga had been so insistent on getting him out of that damned hospital for an hour or two.

He sighed and dressed, heading back to Suga, who was waiting on the bed of the hotel room. Tsukki felt a bit guilty for worrying his friends to the point that they had come all the way to America to check on him, but he was grateful. For all he knew, he would've wasted away next to Yamaguchi in that hospital room if they hadn't shown up.

Tsukki had to brace himself before he walked back into the room he had spent the last week in. Even the mere hour and a half he spent away from Yamaguchi had started to make the memory of the exact damage done to the freckled boy fade. A fresh wave of pain washed over him; for the first time since the initial phone call, Tsukki felt the urge to cry. He refused to let the tears fall, though. He had to look at least a little put together in front of his upperclassmen. If he fell apart after all the trouble they had gone through to take even a little bit of stress off his shoulders, he'd feel like he had made their efforts go to waste.

Instead of giving in to his emotions and breaking down in tears, Tsukishima put a small smile on his face and bowed respectfully.

"Thank you for your concern. I'm grateful for your help." His tone was a bit stiff and very monotone, but they either didn't notice or didn't care.

Suga, being the volleyball mom he was, smiled gently and clapped Tsukki on the shoulder. "There's no need to thank us. We're a team; we look after each other."

"Yeah! Besides, we were worried, too." Noya grinned, though his eyes were soft with what Tsukki knew was pity.

They filed out of the room one by one, murmuring more reassurances and promising to come back the next day. As he passed, Asahi rested a hand gently on Tsukki's shoulder, offering a slight smile.

"He'll wake up, you know. He's strong; he'll fight to get back to you."

The gentle giant walked out, leaving Tsukki alone with the beeping, his comatose boyfriend, and his thoughts. Only once the door clicked shut did Tsukishima let his walls down and allow himself the luxury of tears.

He fell asleep that night with his head next to his boyfriend's, tears drying on his cheeks and his hand clasped around Yamaguchi's once again.

Three more months passed in very much the same way. In the first month, Tsukki determined that there was 167 freckles on Yamaguchi's face alone. In the second, he lost patience with the damned beeping and took to listening to music to pass the time. By the third, he was starting to lose hope. Six months, and Yamaguchi hadn't woken up. Tsukishima was beginning to doubt he ever would.

He hated himself for it, but he had to admit that he was giving up. Six months was a long time, and even Suga had been almost subtly suggesting that he let Yamaguchi go. He didn't want to, but he forced himself to admit that he could see their point. He knew that the longer Yamaguchi stayed asleep, the less likely it was that he'd ever wake, and he knew that the longer it was the worse off Tsukki himself was emotionally. It still felt wrong for him to give up, but he wasn't entirely sure that he could keep it up too much longer. He was a wreck.

Reluctantly, he agreed with the doctors, telling him that if Yamaguchi didn't wake up by the end of the month, he'd let them unplug the machines that kept Yamaguchi alive. He'd let go of the stars that he'd held onto for so long.

Asahi, Suga, and Noya all offered him consoling words and gentle hugs, but by that point, Tsukki was numb. He felt hollow, empty, like there was a Yamaguchi-shaped hole in his very existence that had been ripped open violently. That last week passed in a blur and ended all too soon. One of the doctors came in and ushered everyone but Tsukki out of the room, wanting to give the blonde and his boyfriend one last hour together.

Tsukishima sat there for about fifteen minutes, just watching the other sleep. Yamaguchi looked so peaceful, but thin and pale, almost doll-like. The true gravity of the situation hit Tsukki all at once and he squeezed his boyfriend's limp hand tightly. He was afraid, he was startled to find. Afraid to lose the first person to ever bother to put up with him, to ever take the time to actually get to _know_ him. Afraid to lose the love of his life. He was afraid to lose Yamaguchi.

He realized that he had taken Yamaguchi for granted and only then, on the verge of letting him go forever, did Tsukki notice how much he had truly treasured the freckled boy.

Tsukishima stood up, noting that he only had ten minutes left until the plug was pulled, and pressed one last gentle kiss to his boyfriend's forehead. "I love you, Tadashi," he whispered, the words rolling off his tongue almost too easily.

Reluctantly, he went to tell the others that it was time for them to say their goodbyes; that he was as ready as he'd ever be. He froze, though, when something rusted behind him. Tsukki turned back disbelievingly to find that Yamaguchi's eyes were open. It took a moment for the realization to hit him.

Yamaguchi was _awake._

"Tsu… Tsukki?" His voice was hoarse, rough with lack of use, but Tsukishima didn't care. To him, it sounded like a choir of fucking angels because it was _Yamaguchi's voice._

He was back beside Yamaguchi in an instant, a smile spreading slowly across his face. He leaned over his boyfriend and grasped his hand, a warm bubbly feeling making his chest nearly burst.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm right here, Yamaguchi. I'm right here."

Yamaguchi's eyes flicked toward him, then away, as if he couldn't find him. "Tsukki? Where are you? I can hear you, a-and I feel you, but I can't see you. Is… is this another dream?"

Tsukki's heart clenched in realization ad he squeezed Yamaguchi's hand gently. "It's not a dream, I promise. Can you… can you not see anything?"

Yamaguchi slowly shook his head, tears brimming in his now-sightless eyes. Tsukki gently kissed them away; he couldn't bear to see Yamaguchi cry.

"S-sorry, Tsukki… I…"

Tsukishima shook his head and sat on the edge of the bed, cupping his boyfriend's face with his free hand. "Hey, now, don't apologize. I spent the last six months worrying about whether or not you'd wake up. I don't care if you're blind because you're alive. If it's temporary, then that's great. If it isn't, I'm still fine with it. You're still Yamaguchi."

The freckled boy started to cry in earnest then, his arms coming up to weakly wrap around his boyfriend. It was the sweetest thing that Tsukki had said to him since he announced he was leaving for America, and it was rare that the blonde said so much at a time. Tsukishima was a bit surprised, but smiled and leaned down to gently return the embrace.

"I love you, Tadashi." The words were nowhere near as weighted as they had been earlier, and the sincerity of them make Yamaguchi's face flush.

"I-I love you too, K-Kei." Yamaguchi spoke through hiccups and tears, but there was still a bright smile on his face.

"Tsukki, its—" Suga's voice went silent when he saw Yamaguchi awake and grinning like a madman through his tears. Suga backed quietly out of the room, smiling.

"Tsukki, who else is here?" Yamaguchi sounded a bit nervous, but his boyfriend's hand carding through his hair kept him relatively calm.

"Suga, Noya, and Asahi are here. They joined me here about three and a half months after the hurricane; a couple weeks after I showed up."

That seemed to shock Yamaguchi. "Three and a half _months_? How long… How long have I been unconscious?"

Tsukki swallowed through the sudden lump in his throat; Yamaguchi needed to know how much time he had lost, no matter how painful it was to recount. "Tadashi, you've been in a coma for six months. They were minutes away from pulling the plug when you woke up."

The news seemed to stun Yamaguchi, the freckled face going pale and almost horrified. Tsukishima knew that it had to be an emotional blow to find out that he had been minutes away from basically being killed. He pressed an apologetic kiss to Yamaguchi's freckled cheek, but couldn't say anything more because the upperclassmen and a doctor burst through the door. Yamaguchi squeezed Tsukki's hand nervously and the blonde returned the gesture gently. It was a silent promise to stay with each other for as long as physically possible, to share their suffering and everything else in their lives.

Neither had ever been known to break a promise.


End file.
